THETFORD ETIQUETTE - A TREATISE ON MOBILE ABLUTION BY THEODOPHILUS CRAPADOPULOUS
We used to have a "no solids" rule ..... it becomes a complete pain in the ass, literally.....crossing your legs, begging the use of unknown facilities....your whole trip becomes a flipping orienteering competition based on locating the next "free" pan in which to gratefully dump your solid matter. No thanks! Mr Thetford spent millions perfecting a DUAL purpose system. A major feature of his design is known as the "IG" principle. "Instant Gratification" for those who don't know. Also known as "KSSDA"...."Klick Switch Settle Dump Aaaahhh". Having lived intimately with mine for so many years, sorry kilograms, I can safely vouch that they are fit for purpose, bordering on brilliant. I have never had a problem that I couldn't fix, the worst being some (Ex!) GF who decided that wet wipes were a good thing - they are not because they don't dissolve, and then they wrap themselves around the mechanism - the only time I had to get my hand inside one....ah memories!
Generally speaking if you are a heavy user cassettes only last a couple of years, I am on my fourth! A healthy skatalogical sense of humour also helps - a true expert like me can "free pour" the Elsan in differing quantities according to the particular cocktail and temperature....you definitely need less in winter, unless you have the bathroom heating vent full on all day. in which case you have to watch out for spontaneous fermentation.
I have had sog units - I have no preference either way, both systems work. I actually prefer the blue fluid.
However nobody wants to deal with somebody else's Poo - you CAN get a new cassette - and you should. It will enable you to cock your leg and lift your cheek with true enjoyment, now and into the future. All new owners should buy a new cassette.
Other tips from this veteran's diary ..... I have tried all the fluids - original Elsan is the best, no contest. In an emergency I have used just about everything else, except washing up liquid - for obvious reasons - can you imagine that after a drive down a bumpy road!! Phew! I have also used just about every household chemical on the bowl, with no longterm negative effects, so scrub away!.
Not many people know that if you see stains at the base of the seat at the back of the bowl - almost impossible to clean....the seat comes clean away - you just get a good grip and the pull smartly upwards - the hinges pop out by design, enabling you to clean easily. Reassemble in reverse order. It took me five years of toothbrush action before I discovered that one!
The little flush mechanism has proved the only weak point - but a cup of water is just as good. You will soon learn that every drop of fresh water used for flushing, hastens the inevitable time when the MAN has to empty the tank. You will soon learn to keep this to a minimum as you come to appreciate that a woman can basically pee about 3 cassettes a day without serious management ......
However too little flush water usage can result in too rich a mixture....too much and you are wasting resources. It is very satisfying to see the exact consistency glug down the disposal point....it just sounds right!
The other must have accessory is your own custom mini bog brush. Normal brushes are just too big - we use nice little washing up brushes (from IKEA), and construct a custom holder from old washing up liquid bottles. The brush is your secret weapon to reduce flush water usage, and thus prolong cassette capacity. The trick is to just let the last piece of paper float down as a sheet. You then get your brush and neatly flip over this piece of clean paper - a bit like cooking bacon - thus forming a barrier pad between stains and bristles. With a neat flick of the wrist and a quick squirt of flush you end up with a nice clean bowl, nice clean bristles and a feeling of total efficiency. This technique takes several weeks, if not months to perfect, but is the true hallmark of a man at one with his Thetford. I say man, because women seem to have some sort of congenital defect in this department. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to enjoy your morning cuppa, listening to the main water tank being emptied into the casstte while your beloved ...... makes herself beautiful. Ahem!
An intimate relationship with ones better half is absolutely essential, only by working as a team can you perfect that other essential skill - that of guaging whether you can just squeeze in that little extra ... when the wind and rain are howling outside, or just when you are pissed and can't be bothered.
This is an extremely skilful game - as getting it wrong results in an overflow situation - one of the most difficult Thetford situations to deal with - involving rubber gloves, tubes and absorbent materials - and subsequent use of a pressure washer.....
I will have to save my treatise on ecological but cheeky emptying techniques for another time. Suffice to say, any serious Hymerista needs a set of manhole keys, and an old piece of rope for dragging heavy cassettes over grassy surfaces - doggy style! Enjoy!
We used to have a "no solids" rule ..... it becomes a complete pain in the ass, literally.....crossing your legs, begging the use of unknown facilities....your whole trip becomes a flipping orienteering competition based on locating the next "free" pan in which to gratefully dump your solid matter. No thanks! Mr Thetford spent millions perfecting a DUAL purpose system. A major feature of his design is known as the "IG" principle. "Instant Gratification" for those who don't know. Also known as "KSSDA"...."Klick Switch Settle Dump Aaaahhh". Having lived intimately with mine for so many years, sorry kilograms, I can safely vouch that they are fit for purpose, bordering on brilliant. I have never had a problem that I couldn't fix, the worst being some (Ex!) GF who decided that wet wipes were a good thing - they are not because they don't dissolve, and then they wrap themselves around the mechanism - the only time I had to get my hand inside one....ah memories!
Generally speaking if you are a heavy user cassettes only last a couple of years, I am on my fourth! A healthy skatalogical sense of humour also helps - a true expert like me can "free pour" the Elsan in differing quantities according to the particular cocktail and temperature....you definitely need less in winter, unless you have the bathroom heating vent full on all day. in which case you have to watch out for spontaneous fermentation.
I have had sog units - I have no preference either way, both systems work. I actually prefer the blue fluid.
However nobody wants to deal with somebody else's Poo - you CAN get a new cassette - and you should. It will enable you to cock your leg and lift your cheek with true enjoyment, now and into the future. All new owners should buy a new cassette.
Other tips from this veteran's diary ..... I have tried all the fluids - original Elsan is the best, no contest. In an emergency I have used just about everything else, except washing up liquid - for obvious reasons - can you imagine that after a drive down a bumpy road!! Phew! I have also used just about every household chemical on the bowl, with no longterm negative effects, so scrub away!.
Not many people know that if you see stains at the base of the seat at the back of the bowl - almost impossible to clean....the seat comes clean away - you just get a good grip and the pull smartly upwards - the hinges pop out by design, enabling you to clean easily. Reassemble in reverse order. It took me five years of toothbrush action before I discovered that one!
The little flush mechanism has proved the only weak point - but a cup of water is just as good. You will soon learn that every drop of fresh water used for flushing, hastens the inevitable time when the MAN has to empty the tank. You will soon learn to keep this to a minimum as you come to appreciate that a woman can basically pee about 3 cassettes a day without serious management ......
However too little flush water usage can result in too rich a mixture....too much and you are wasting resources. It is very satisfying to see the exact consistency glug down the disposal point....it just sounds right!
The other must have accessory is your own custom mini bog brush. Normal brushes are just too big - we use nice little washing up brushes (from IKEA), and construct a custom holder from old washing up liquid bottles. The brush is your secret weapon to reduce flush water usage, and thus prolong cassette capacity. The trick is to just let the last piece of paper float down as a sheet. You then get your brush and neatly flip over this piece of clean paper - a bit like cooking bacon - thus forming a barrier pad between stains and bristles. With a neat flick of the wrist and a quick squirt of flush you end up with a nice clean bowl, nice clean bristles and a feeling of total efficiency. This technique takes several weeks, if not months to perfect, but is the true hallmark of a man at one with his Thetford. I say man, because women seem to have some sort of congenital defect in this department. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to enjoy your morning cuppa, listening to the main water tank being emptied into the casstte while your beloved ...... makes herself beautiful. Ahem!
An intimate relationship with ones better half is absolutely essential, only by working as a team can you perfect that other essential skill - that of guaging whether you can just squeeze in that little extra ... when the wind and rain are howling outside, or just when you are pissed and can't be bothered.
This is an extremely skilful game - as getting it wrong results in an overflow situation - one of the most difficult Thetford situations to deal with - involving rubber gloves, tubes and absorbent materials - and subsequent use of a pressure washer.....
I will have to save my treatise on ecological but cheeky emptying techniques for another time. Suffice to say, any serious Hymerista needs a set of manhole keys, and an old piece of rope for dragging heavy cassettes over grassy surfaces - doggy style! Enjoy!
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