Monday 30 March 2015

In praise of Old Hymers for fulltiming

I have a 1993 Hymer S700 with 330,000k on the clock. I have had the van 10 years, the last 5 full time (with the odd winter in storage).

Normally I would be shouting from the rooftops about these vans, and Hymers in general, and I have on other forums (just google funkyronster S700!!), but thought I would take a more measured stance for this thread, as it is about vehicles for full-timing in general.

I have been all over europe and north africa, and rubbed shoulders with the entire international community or full-timers and long distance travellers. From estate cars with a mattress in the back, through motorhomes and conversions, up through Cathargos to Unimogs and beyond. I've seen and met some stunning vehicles and people. 

What I have discovered (cliche warning!), perhaps not surprisingly, is that it's horses for courses.

Putting aside the specialist vehicles, the question most people seem to ask is "is a standard motorhome up to the job of full-timing?". It's a difficult question to answer with a simple yes or no. the best I can do is - yes, mostly.

The problem with modern vans is that since they changed the driving test rules a few years ago, everybody's default licence is 3.5t, as opposed to the old 7.5t. This simple fact changed the face of the motorhome industry, as the majority of vans - the mass market - have to be less than this. So we ended up, with what, somewhat disrespectfully, is known as the "plastic fantastic", or more romantically, "le plastique fantastique".

Manufacturers simply had to lighten up, so that meant more plastic, and less wood and steel.

At the same time fuel prices have gone through the roof, so modern vans are light, fast, and do 40 mpg. Brilliant! 

But I am not going to say that these vans are unsuitable for FT. Some of them are built better than others, and some owners are more careful than others. But in general, there are issues with reliability and maintenance if you use a van that was designed for 4 weeks use a year for all 52. However I can't ignore the fact that I have met many many fulltimers in standard vans - most happy, some not.

The other big issue is budget - bangs for buck. If you have a big budget, then most problems go away, but let's continue on the basis that we need to squeeze every last penny from our budget.

Like most van anoraks (ahem!) ..... I have been scanning forecourts and Ebay for years, so you get a feel for prices. I have learnt 3 things. 1. Nothing depreciates like a new camper van! 2. Some prices are downright silly. 3. There are incredible bargains to be had.

To that I will add a couple more observations. 1. Most people buy too small. 2. You need extra space. Always! That might seem a very simplistic statement, but I don't just mean space for booze and toys, but modification space. Like bigger batteries, extra gas, and so on. 

So taking all that into consideration, I, and quite a few others, have ended up with 20 year old motorhomes like the Hymer S range from the 80's and 90's. They tick a lot of boxes.

Built in the pre 3.5t era, they were built solidly (that's an understatement - brick outhouse more like). And they are also German. If you are over 40, you may remember a time when German kit was literally in a class of it's own. It's still the best today, but back then it was the best by a country mile.

Next is the engine and chassis. A Mercedes diesel engine, with a design life of one million kilometres. No electronics, just solid reliability. My engine just doesn't fail, ever. Even with an air filter full of sand, it just went slower and slower until I noticed! Even with the dirtiest fuel in Morocco, it just went slower and slower until I noticed! It's like that Toyota Hilux Clarkson destroyed on "Top Gear".

It's at this point I have to stop trying to be balanced, and wax lyrical about "Old Style Hymers".

You get a lot of van for your money. Nowadays, if you shop around, you can get an early 90's S6xx or S7XX for around £10-12k. For that you get solid wood and veneer, a choice of well designed layouts, and pretty much everything you need. The only plastic is in the bathroom, and the only money I have spent in the bathroom in 10 years is a new Thetford cassette and a new glass door (I was drunk!).

This was the luxury van of it's era. They were about fifty grand back then - big money! They are solid without gimmicks. The same can be said for that era of Truma equipment. All my Truma stuff still works, only recently have I had to service my heaters. They were untouched for 20 years.

These Hymers also modify well for full-timing, and they carry the weight. Mine is plated at 4.6t and today it weighs 4.2t. That is with 250k of extra batteries, a 150k motorbike and full tanks.

They are not fast - they bear no comparison with modern Fiats, but they are a very comfortable drive, and extremely manoeuvrable, with a turning circle like a black taxi. Drivers over 50 love them, especially those that can double de-clutch!

The standard mods for full-timing are pretty straightforward. Power, lots of it. A single 110a leisure battery just doesn't cut it. You need 4 if you can. And solar panels, at least 200w, and a decent inverter, and a charger ..... the list goes on, but an old style Hymer can take the mods without major surgery.

These vehicles are also rugged. If you want adventure, you only need a Unimog for extremes. A double back wheel RWD Merc chassis will pretty much take you anywhere, and about twice as far as any FWD van. I have had loads of fun towing them off fields! Mine has been across the Sahara twice (not in the soft sand obviously), and on the worst roads in Europe - Ukraine. I have had broken springs and a few bushes, but only last year did I need new shocks. I am not saying they are indestructible (I have tried!), just that they will take a lot of punishment and are easy to repair. Same goes for the interior, it's solid, takes punishment Glastonbury style.....and still looks good after a clean.

One modification for old Hymers that not many people consider is to take out the front drop down bed. Most full timers are couples, and just don't need it. Once it's out you double your cabin space, and it feels like you have just bought a new van. You double your storage space, and you get to use the front over dash space for a drop down TV and sound system.

Choose your layout carefully. Mine is a fixed rear double bed with full width boot under, and fixed table on one side, with fold out extension, twin captains chairs, and settee opposite. It's the best layout I have seen for a couple. We also appreciate the roomy separate shower, which is also our pantry!

So what do I miss? After 10 years of moaning and jealously looking at OPV's, I can honestly say just two things. A bigger fridge and an oven. And perhaps more MPG! Ovens are non standard in european vans, but many Hymers do have them. The fridge we can live with - we eat fresh! My Seitz windows and blinds have seen better days, but they are fixable, and they all still work.

So that's my shout out for old style Hymers. I have not seen any motorhome of similar pedigree that I would rather own. The only thing that tempts me is "the other side" - a truck conversion, or a race truck. There are some incredible race truck bargains on Ebay, that you could modify for living. I would like a garage, but my 125cc Honda sits on the rack, and is no big deal.

Finally - I am not the only one! They are not the commonest van on the road, but when you meet the owners, the story is the same. There is a solid online community and owners, many full time like me who just love them. They keep their value pretty well, and pristine low mileage models still go for silly money. The bargains are in high mileage slightly tatty, "end of holiday use" ready for full-timing and TLC. Germany is still the best place to buy, but I have seen bargains in the UK. 

If it's a solid comfortable motorhome you want for full-timing, you can't really go wrong with an S660 or S700 Mercedes Hymer.

Monday 23 March 2015

Resources, hints and tips for finding free or inexpensive spots - UK and Europe.

Resources, hints and tips for finding free or inexpensive spots - UK and Europe.

Here are resources I have found invaluable in my Hymer travels. Technology and the Internet are your best friends - t'Internet, GPS and Google Earth and Street View, allowing you to virtually visit places in advance. I can advise on all aspects of in van technology - just ask!

Glossary for technophobes......POI file - "Point of Interest" - these are little database files that can be loaded into your GPS unit, and also into your computer. Each "POI" is indeed a "Point of Interest"! so they can be anything from camp sites to castles to supermarkets....you name it.

Widcamping.co.uk - free places to park up!

This website has grown a lot in the few years it has been around. For years I moaned and wished that there was a database of wild camping spots, and then these guys finally did it. It is a website, and of course the ubiquitous forum, and is now taking on all the trappings of a full blown commercial operation - It's £15 a year which I pay gladly. But it's unique offering is it's user generated database of wild camping spots in the UK. These are available as POI files for all GPS units, and Google Earth. From simple laybys to isolated moors and hidden spaces I have found it invaluable. I can zoom into an area, then virtually drive by the location using Google. Or I can simply ask my GPS for the nearest location, and take pot luck.www.wildcamping.co.uk

Caravan Club CL sites

Next up is Caravan Club CL's - most people know about these, but for newcomers....If you join the Caravan Club, you get access to their network of small sites. UK planning laws allow just about any farm or landowner to have a site for up to 5 caravans or motorhomes. They vary from basic to luxury, but all have water and waste disposal, about half have hookup. Now I don't want to promote naughty behaviour, I pay my membership to the fuddy duddy Caravan Club willingly....but I have only been asked for my membership card twice in 10 years. And I have discovered also that some sites drop out of the scheme and the CC directory, but still retain the sign! So if you are out and about, and see a "Caravan Club Certified Location", and are desperate for a nights stop, then take a chance - you can always join later! POI databases are available for these CL sites from various places. Just Google it, or contact me. Here is a link - don't confuse "Certified Locations" with "Club Sites" which are all singing, dancing holiday destinations in their own right.http://www.caravanclub.co.uk/uk-holidays/advice-and-information/route-planner/satellite-navigation-downloads

Archies Camping Database

If you look around, there are so many different clubs and organisations who list camp sites in different countries. I had this problem on my travels round Europe. Then I found Archie! He is a Dutch guy who collates every single campsite in Europe, no matter who own or runs it, into a single database POI file. It is regularly maintained and updated by users, and Archie asks for donations.

http://www.archiescampings.eu/eng1/

Furgoperfectos!

Furgo is Spanish for "Van" ... and has become the slang word for the VW camper. So Spanish VW campers are "FurgoVW's"! Furgoperfectos is an informal group of Spanish VW owners, including a lot of surfers and bikers. They maintain a POI database for their members, but is freely downloadable for your GPS. The majority of locations are Spain Portugal and France, but every year more are added further afield. I have used these extensively, and found some truly stunning sea side locations, but be warned that access to these sites is intended for VW capers and similar. I have never failed to get onto any of the many I have visited in my 7m Hymer, and the vast majority are places where almost any vehicle can visit .... but I have had a couple of tight squeezes. But Furgoperfectos is a truly precious resource!

The site is in Spanish, and contains lots of information for VW fans - Google translate works well in Spanish. The POI files are here - www.furgovw.org - they seem to have introduced a requirement to register this year. Any problems contact me.

The Motorhome Tourism Organisation

This quite new site seems to be a labour of love by one gentleman, and deserves support. UK motorhomers seem to take it for granted that facilities are better abroad than here in the UK, and generally we just put up with it and do our own thing. But councils up and down the country vary between draconian and welcoming in their attitudes to motorhome parking and access.

This site is trying to do something about it, and has the beginnings of a UK map of car parks that permit overnight parking. It also lobbies councils and government on our behalf, and for that reason alone deserves support.

www.tmcto.org


If you go down to Legoland Windsor and email this chap paul.harley@legoland.co.uk or CustomerServices@merlinentertainments.biz they will let you stay in there staff car park free of charge and its only a ten minute walk to the park passing all the queing cars.


Any more resources? Please contact Ron or any of the Classic Hymers team.

On winter storage

Winter Storage for your Hymer

For those of you who dont use your Hymer through the winter (you bloody well should be!) here is a guide to some things you can do to help keep your pride and joy in tip top condition.

If you have any info to add please do so but make sure you separate each entry with a =========

This Information was added to the Classic Hymers community page by our man in the knowRon Bentham.

Well you have to remember that being designed in Germany, they are designed for it! There are many many tips and tricks published on the motorhome forums - it's not just a Hymer issue.  

Obviously covered storage is the way to go - as our Classic Hymers show their age they deserve a bit extra. I managed to find a barn for mine last year for £30 a month! 

But having stored mine outside for the preceding 13 winters, here is what I have picked up. As long as you don't have an obvious leak, then I have suffered no adverse effects from outside storage.  

Tyres do not flat spot - stands not required. 

Handbrakes do stick on - so best to leave off and chock, or in gear. Mine's a Merc, so can't vouch for Fiats, but I think this is a general rule. I have also noticed a fair amount of rust on the front discs, which I have ignored with no problems - just drive carefully for the first few miles. 

My Merc has literally started first turn, every springtime! All the oil is in the bottom of the sump after storage so I never rev the engine on first startup - just let it tickover for a while. A perfectionist would pour a mugful into the top before starting after a long winter! I never have, but have thought about it! 

Batteries - if you have solar, then just do nothing. If you don't, then operate the leisure batt isolator switch. My vehicle battery has never let me down, not even after 7 months running the clock! Basically the electrics just don't suffer in storage. 

Frost - in the early years I didn't even know how to drain my system. And I never had a problem. I went skiing once in Italy and it was minus 20, and the entire tank and water system froze solid, I was almost back to Calais before the water started flowing again! No damage. But in a later year after a hard frost I found that the frozen water had forced the plastic pipe off the bottom of the tap. So I eventually learned how to drain the system. open all the taps, disconnect the pump, and open the drain cock - that's all you have to do. 

Humidity. Some people swear by installing a dehumidifier over winter. I never have, but I can't fault the logic, especially if your van is stored where there is mains electricity. I always leave my roof light open by about 3 millimetres all round - this also helps preserve the rubber seal. 

Never try to operate the roof light in snow and ice unless you have completely cleared it - I learned the hard way. 

I raise my rear bed a few inches with a thick book - it lets the air circulate. 

I rinse out my cassette with Elsan Blue - empty it and then just leave it be. 

I got mice once - the only time I stored on grass. When the grass grew they shinned up and got in through the chassis somehow! Hard standing is best. 

Gas system. Switch of bottles and then ignore - never had a problem. 

I tend to leave my curtains open - many don't for security - but a bit of winter sun streaming in does wonders for the moisture. 

Fridge - leave open a crack. there is a hole specially for this on the catch. 

Don't leave the blinds up - you strain the return springs. 

Underbody. Hymers are well undersealed at the factory, but after 20 years it can start to show it's age. A perfectionist would wash off any road dirt, which usually contains the dreaded salt prior to winter storage. 

Covers - I have heard arguments for and against - so basically I just don't know if they are worth it. Some swear by them, others say they lock in moisture and damp. Your choice. Discuss?! 

Finally, look at it this way. Hymers are designed for all year use. It is actually easier on the van to be stood still in all weathers, rather than driving on the road. They are tough. Love it, but don't cuddle it! 

If I have missed any winter storage points then will others please add them.

On Hymer S700 tyres and pressures

65 in the back and 55 in the front.......don't ask me how I know, I just do after 15 years in a S700.....if you want some logic, the S700 has a big overhang and so is rear heavy and front light, however, it only has little wheels and tyres so they need to be inflated to almost the max. I have arrived at 55/65 after many many miles and many conversations with other owners, tyre fitters and mechanics, and many years of monitoring for uneven tread wear. By the by - always make sure wherever you inflate that the machine has enough pressure and the right style of pump head - most motorway garages and petrol stations don't. I always make a habit of calling into a proper commercial tyre place and having my tyres checked every 6 months. Without the right gear it's possible to let out air and not get it back in! I have also found that the S700 is the most difficult vehicle to do a tyre change on - it's a bitch to jack, unless you carry a trolley jack, and the wheel nuts are like granite. I no longer even attempt a roadside change - I just call out the AA or RAC. I have never had a front wheel puncture, only several rear wheel ones, and if you have a flat rear, you can usually limp to a garage on 3 rear tyres without doing any damage - I have had to drive for several hours like this in Morocco, and it did no harm at all - 30mph max.

Front end and dashboard wobbling about - the ONLY minor design fault on 80's and 90's Classic Hymers

I went through this whole process a few years back! After about 200,000 kms romping all over Europe and Morocco my front end was moving so much the windscreen popped out. I fixed it the first time with a new piece of ply, but a year or so later it was bad again - bear in mind that I had done a lot of miles on a lot of really bad roads! So this time I decided like Jon to do it right, only after thesecond ply dash worked loose I decided that metal was the way to go. I had a metal guy in Morocco fabricate me a new dash out of galvanised sheet steel with a lip all round for strength. This was hand made and fitted and double bolted - no self tappers this time! I threw away the puny hymer angle irons at either side and fitted proper angle irons, and for good measure I even bolted through to a plate on the outside - you can see where on the many photos of the funkyronster hymer on this site. It's ugly, but I have the strongest front end of any hymer anywhere! And it has stood the test - now up to 350,000km and still rock solid.

If I had to do it again, I would probably have a stainless or galvanised sheet steel plate laser cut. Or alternatively I would fit a transverse stiffener from side to side under the dash - if I had access to a good metalworker.

I am not a fan of in dash speakers - the holes weaken the whole dash - all my problems started when I cut oval speaker holes. Out of the factory, Hymer fitted surface mounted pod speakers. However I have taken out my front bed, so have plenty of alternate locations.

I used sound proofing foam under the dash as well - I also used it under the front carpet, but don't think it made much difference. What really made a difference was lining the inside engine cover with wildly expensive cellular lead sheet soundproof material. This really made a difference, and despite it's high mileage and battle scars I reckon I have one of the quietest hymers around!

The basic point for all Classic Hymer owners is that the windscreen seal - the gap at the bottom - and the plywood dashboard are the only weak design features of this otherwise bombproof classic. All owners should check this area periodically. The good news is that it is relatively easy to fix.

Photo's of my travels in a Hymer S700

Twice across the Sahara, As far east as Ukraine and Turkey and almost every country in mainland Europe - 15 years and 350,000 kms, and still going strong. Here is my collection of photos of my S700 along the way.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.901458923200262&type=1

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.901458923200262&type=1

On whether the Santander ferry is worth it or to drive through France ......

I have spent hours on a calculator over this, having made many S700 trips to and from Portugal and Spain. And it's almost a tank extra for me, cos I live in the NW. Basically, the long crossing to Spain is a luxury, and unless you are wandering aimlessly through France not in a hurry, the traverse of France is for me at least, a bore bore bore, done it so many times. About 3 years ago I concluded that the shoulder season price of the long crossing was going to cost about £100 more than the diesel, and I thought that was a good deal. in recent years, when faced with well over £400 each way, for 2 adults, it has been more difficult to decide. I think the lowest i paid off season was £270 one way. I have never travelled in July August. It doesn't help that you are royally rogered by the French autoroute tolls - especially if you have double back wheels. Just go on the french autoroute website and cost out the tolls from Calais to Biaritz! It's well over a whole tankful of fuel!
One year I decided to devote three days to it and avoid all French tolls - and stick to routes nationales....it was a pretty OK trip, but any savings were eaten away with extra fuel, I spent a lot of time traversing towns and regional cities, and this burns fuel. But I also discovered that there are huge tracts of free autoroute and dual carriageways, and I made a mental note to find out the best route using these - there must be a thread on some forum out there somewhere. I also got to see that enormous bridge viaduct at Millau, which is a blast. But it needs research if you want to do it fast, because certain towns and cities are real bottlenecks - you need local knowledge and research for a fast non toll trip.
So you pays your money and takes your chance, but my overiding memory is that the santander ferry is a luxury for high season southern based families with no time to lose, and they charge accordingly. If you have plenty of time then through France, slowly, is the way to go. I once did from the Spanish border to Calais in 20 hours in my S700 at a cruising speed of 100kph. I can't remember the math, but it's easy to work out on Google at about 23mpg and the latest diesel prices - like here it's worth timing your stops and leaving the autiroute to visit a Mamouth or LeClerc - French diesel can be really cheaper, but not on the autoroute.
So it comes down to money - I just love that long ferry ride, and then it's only a day to Portugal! But is does cost!

On dim instrument lights ......

 I have this problem also. A few years ago my dashboard light went partly dark....a bulb had gone. Being well off at the time, I paid my garage to fix it, and watched him do it. It's a horrible job! Not impossible but horrible. The two screws on the top make it look so easy....but you will see that the plastic front and the metal back stretch the width of the dash. You basically have to prise them apart far enough to get your fingers in and changing the bulb is easy, but only once you have enough access. I would say only a job for the determined DIY'er. Mine is now so old and well used and so dim - I can see a layer of dust on the INSIDE of the dial glass!
So what's the alternative? Well like most people I have come to just put up with it. I can see the fuel gauge, that's the main thing. I rely heavily on my TomTom, which gives me accurate speed and speed trap notification. My only other suggestion is this. Consider mounting a strip of red led's under the top edge of the instrument binnacle - downlighting the dials. This would be quite easy to do. I would switch it separately, and have some provision for dimming - you don't want it too bright. This would give a soft red downlighting effect that would also look pretty cool, and red doesn't hurt your night vision.

Gas - most imported Classic Hymers have 50 mbar regulators .... UK vans have 37 mbar

Pretty much all Classic Hymers are 50mbar. UK standard is 37. It is very easy to check. Just look at the stickers on your Truma equipment - the pressure they require is clearly stated. Then make sure you have a reg to match. I had the same experience as at some point in the past my original reg had been replaced with a 37. Fitting a new 50 made a big difference, although everything had been working OK, the biggest difference was the main heater. Every CH owner should check this out!

On maintaining the Mercedes 5 cyl engine in Classic Hymers

Engine. Most Classic Hymers have either Mercedes or Fiat engines. Mercedes are generally accepted to be the "classic" engine, becasue the OM602 5 cylinder diesel engine is probably one of the most iconic diesels in history. Known as the "million mile" engine, they powered merc vans and cars all through the 70's 80's and 90's. They have a mechanical timing chain which last much longer than a belt. They have no electronics to go wrong. They just go and go and go. Nothing wrong with Fiats - maybe somebody else can sing their praises - I have never owned one,
Do not be put off by a high mileage - 100k is nothing for these engines. Mine has done 346,567km as of today! And still sounds like the day I bought it. If faced with a high mileage example, by all means use it as a bargaining chip, as would anybody, but don't worry about the engine. Turn the key, let the heater lights go out, and it should start first turn, every time. A cold engine rattles for a minute or so, and a bit of smoke is OK, as long as it clears after 10 minutes of driving. There is nothing to adjust on these engines - they just go and go.
Commonest problems are usually fuel related - there are 3 filters to check, and one of them hardly ever gets changed!
Don't be afraid of a bit of oil, especially on an old high mileage engine - obviously you don't want it making pools on the drive, but a bit is OK - have it checked if you are unsure. Don't confuse engine oil leaks with diesel leaks, which are much more common - there are many little rubber fuel return pipes and they do perish - it's an easy fix.
Oil change every 10,000k no excuses, and no cheap oil - this is the most important thing by far to keep your Merc going for 30 years. Check the service history if there is one, but regular oil changes are what you want to see.
Expect glow plugs to go after around 10 years or so - easily fixed.
Brakes - discs on the front and drums on the back. The back brakes need regular service. There is a load balancing valve under the chassis which needs regular attention - every year or so. They are not heavy on pads and shoes, and cost is reasonable. I have had my back brakes serviced twice in 15 years.
Gearbox - also bombproof, but it has "character". You can't ram the gears around like a ford escort - you have to drive it like an old style truck - which it is. Most people struggle with first gear, which is left and back....it takes practice. It is worth learning the ancient almost forgotten art of "double de-clutching" ! The syncromesh can get worn on certain gears, causing a slight crunch occasionally. This is not terminal, and can be minimised once you are used to driving it. Don't be afraid of the automatics - they are reliable too, if basic. Everything on this chassis was designed in the 60's and 70's - you don't buy one of these for Rolls Royce silence! But they purr along at 55 all day....all year long! 5 cyl mercs return about 22 to 25 mpg. They will do 70mph if pushed, but you feel guilty afterwards. I once drove from Brussels to Calais, foot to the floor - I murdered it, I actually hit 85 down one hill. When I got to Calais it was like a sweating horse - you could hear it creaking with the heat - the engine cover was hot to the touch, as were the tyres. No lasting damage, just carried on......

Wildcampingand Parking where you shouldn't

It's not that I am naturally rebellious! But after many years of so many situations and quite often being so tired and desperate that I just couldn't be bothered....I did get the gradual awareness that actual tickets and fines are really rare, and that even in the most silly situations I tended to get away with murder. I can remember when I stopped being a frightened subject and started to think like a citizen with rights. I was in the Lake District - one of the most protected regions in the country. I was due to meet friends for a walk, but was long delayed, and totally lost (pre sat nav)....I ended up in a National Trust car park of a major attraction - with daylight came the realisation - I'm in big trouble. Cars were parking up and honking. The warden came over and I thought I was going to be impounded. But he just sorted it out and didn't even threaten action - just supervised our departure in a friendly but firm manner. And that generally is that attitude I have come to appreciate and anticipate. The exceptions have not been the rule, and I reckon you can park almost anywhere for a single night, and the occasional fine will amortise to pennies over the years. )))

On windscreen wiper problems on 90's Merc Hymers

If the motor whirs and turns but the wipers don't, or they move erratically or incorrectly then that is usually faulty or loose linkages - you need to get your head in under the front access hatch and get a good look - it's almost impossible! Mirrors are an option....the wiper motor is mounted near the passenger wiper up under the sill directly below the edge of the windscreen. It is a rotary motor. This drives a concentric cam, which is linked to arms connected to small arms on the back of each wiper arm, left and right. It's a lot easier to look at than explain in words! Somewhere in here you will find one of the joints/linkages is loose or slipping. Another good check is can you actually hear the motor running when the wipers are not! If you find the problem, you have to make sure the motor is in it's rest position - so cycle the wiper switch so you know the motor is in the correct off position. Then you position the wipers where they should be across the bottom of the screen, and then you tighten all the joints and linkages back up. It's like Meccano basically - if you are old enough for that!

On the rear overhang on S700's

having been on roads and offroads in my 700 that a 700 has no right to be on....I can report that you really have to go some to ground the back end. I have a fat tow bar frame that reduces clearance by a further 3 inches, and on the occasion that I have grounded - the tow frame has taken the pain. Ferry ramps are a common problem, but I have generally found that the loading hands know their stuff and have all sorts of stuff on hand to help out. There are a few tarmac gouges around the world that bear my tag!

The load sensing valve on Mercedes Hymers

The load sensing valve varies the pressure applied to the rear brakes according to how low the vehicle is riding. It is very important to have it in good order, since Hymer chassis are permanently loaded. I have mine serviced yearly, and afterwards I always notice the difference. The back brakes work much harder than the fronts, which although they are discs, contribute much less to overall braking because there is less rubber on the road and much less weight at the front. This is less of an issue on the 5 series, but much more important on the double wheeled, rear heavy, 6 and 700 series.

On cleaning the fluffy roof lining in Classic Hymers

You should see mine! It's an ongoing problem for old Hymers. The best solution is to use one of those fancy carpet cleaning machines you can buy. They have a plastic nozzle that squirts cleaning fluid and sucks it back at the same time. I borrowed one a few years ago and did mine - what a back breaking days work that was. A normal steam cleaner won't do - all it does is move the dirt around - hence your patches! If have money spare I also think a professional car valeting firm would have the right equipment to do a decent job.

How much gas do Truma heaters use?


It's printed in the Truma manuals, and also on Truma stickers on or near the fires. For example, my front fire in the S700 is a Trumatic E2800. The label says "Anschlussvert 0.24 kg / hr - which I take to mean 240 grams of gas an hour at full whack. The 2800 means it's the equivalent of 2.8 kw. So rounding up, if you leave the fire on maximum, it will use a kilo of gas every 4 hours, or 44 hours from an 11kg bottle. I have no idea how much the cooker uses, but it's not a fair comparison! Fulltiming in freezing weather, sat in the van all day and sleeping with the heating on medium, normal cooking, and fridge on 24 hours a day on gas, I reckon to use an 11k bottle in a week - 5 days if we don't care and just want to be warm. With gas at 55p a litre (approx 2 litres to a kilo) thaat's about £12 a bottle - I'm happy with that. Electricity is approx 15p a kilowatt hour, so to keep a 3kw heater on for 12 hours would cost just over £5, so LPG is way cheaper at the moment. In summer, my 2 x 11kg bottles just go on and on and on......))
No matter which Truma heater you have it will be roughly similar, so these figures should be approx ok for just about any classic Hymer.

Everything you wanted to know about Thetford cassettes and disposing of your crap and piss .....

THETFORD ETIQUETTE - A TREATISE ON MOBILE ABLUTION BY THEODOPHILUS CRAPADOPULOUS
We used to have a "no solids" rule ..... it becomes a complete pain in the ass, literally.....crossing your legs, begging the use of unknown facilities....your whole trip becomes a flipping orienteering competition based on locating the next "free" pan in which to gratefully dump your solid matter. No thanks! Mr Thetford spent millions perfecting a DUAL purpose system. A major feature of his design is known as the "IG" principle. "Instant Gratification" for those who don't know. Also known as "KSSDA"...."Klick Switch Settle Dump Aaaahhh". Having lived intimately with mine for so many years, sorry kilograms, I can safely vouch that they are fit for purpose, bordering on brilliant. I have never had a problem that I couldn't fix, the worst being some (Ex!) GF who decided that wet wipes were a good thing - they are not because they don't dissolve, and then they wrap themselves around the mechanism - the only time I had to get my hand inside one....ah memories!
Generally speaking if you are a heavy user cassettes only last a couple of years, I am on my fourth! A healthy skatalogical sense of humour also helps - a true expert like me can "free pour" the Elsan in differing quantities according to the particular cocktail and temperature....you definitely need less in winter, unless you have the bathroom heating vent full on all day. in which case you have to watch out for spontaneous fermentation.
I have had sog units - I have no preference either way, both systems work. I actually prefer the blue fluid.
However nobody wants to deal with somebody else's Poo - you CAN get a new cassette - and you should. It will enable you to cock your leg and lift your cheek with true enjoyment, now and into the future. All new owners should buy a new cassette.
Other tips from this veteran's diary ..... I have tried all the fluids - original Elsan is the best, no contest. In an emergency I have used just about everything else, except washing up liquid - for obvious reasons - can you imagine that after a drive down a bumpy road!! Phew! I have also used just about every household chemical on the bowl, with no longterm negative effects, so scrub away!.
Not many people know that if you see stains at the base of the seat at the back of the bowl - almost impossible to clean....the seat comes clean away - you just get a good grip and the pull smartly upwards - the hinges pop out by design, enabling you to clean easily. Reassemble in reverse order. It took me five years of toothbrush action before I discovered that one!
The little flush mechanism has proved the only weak point - but a cup of water is just as good. You will soon learn that every drop of fresh water used for flushing, hastens the inevitable time when the MAN has to empty the tank. You will soon learn to keep this to a minimum as you come to appreciate that a woman can basically pee about 3 cassettes a day without serious management ......
However too little flush water usage can result in too rich a mixture....too much and you are wasting resources. It is very satisfying to see the exact consistency glug down the disposal point....it just sounds right!
The other must have accessory is your own custom mini bog brush. Normal brushes are just too big - we use nice little washing up brushes (from IKEA), and construct a custom holder from old washing up liquid bottles. The brush is your secret weapon to reduce flush water usage, and thus prolong cassette capacity. The trick is to just let the last piece of paper float down as a sheet. You then get your brush and neatly flip over this piece of clean paper - a bit like cooking bacon - thus forming a barrier pad between stains and bristles. With a neat flick of the wrist and a quick squirt of flush you end up with a nice clean bowl, nice clean bristles and a feeling of total efficiency. This technique takes several weeks, if not months to perfect, but is the true hallmark of a man at one with his Thetford. I say man, because women seem to have some sort of congenital defect in this department. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to enjoy your morning cuppa, listening to the main water tank being emptied into the casstte while your beloved ...... makes herself beautiful. Ahem!
An intimate relationship with ones better half is absolutely essential, only by working as a team can you perfect that other essential skill - that of guaging whether you can just squeeze in that little extra ... when the wind and rain are howling outside, or just when you are pissed and can't be bothered.
This is an extremely skilful game - as getting it wrong results in an overflow situation - one of the most difficult Thetford situations to deal with - involving rubber gloves, tubes and absorbent materials - and subsequent use of a pressure washer.....
I will have to save my treatise on ecological but cheeky emptying techniques for another time. Suffice to say, any serious Hymerista needs a set of manhole keys, and an old piece of rope for dragging heavy cassettes over grassy surfaces - doggy style! Enjoy!

On Fiat v Merc in Classic Hymers ....

You are absolutely right Chris Watson. There is a bit of snobbery between Mercs and Fiats, but in all my time with Hymers I haven't really heard anybody really for or against the two marques. But what I do think it boils down to is front wheel drive versus rear. In my case I have always asked so much of my van, in terms of towing and doing daft things off road that I just know that front wheel drive wouldn't have cut it for me. I just couldn't have done the things I have done with my van if it was front wheel drive. So I don't really think there's a big issue between Fiat Hymers and Merc Hymers - both give good service, and in many respects, the Fiat has more power and economy for "normal" use, but the rear wheel drive Merc has more versatility for those of us who stray off the tarmac a lot!

On servicing the old 5 cylinder mercedes engines fond in pre 95 Hymers

If you don't have the original service book for the Merc chassis, you can find one on here or online. Your engine has a metal timing chain which should last almost for ever, and if it does get worn, will make a sound long before it gets serious - unlike the rubber belts in other engines that can snap and wreck your engine.
The most important thing is change the oil, religiously, every 10,000km or every year. Use the best oil - top quality synthetic diesel engine oil. Never skimp on oil changes.
Change or clean the air filter every year or so, depending on how many miles you have done. Same for the fuel filter - every few years, unless you spend a lot of time in a dirty fuel country - like Morocco or Azerbaijan......EU fuel is pretty clean.
That's about it for the engine - everything else will just carry on until it breakse, and just needs fixing - eg water pump or fanbelt. To give you an idea, I have the same engine, I have done 350,000km in 20 years, including trips to Africa Turkey and Russia. The engine has never missed a beat. I have had about 3 fanbelts, 2 alternators and a water pump. Brakes and exhaust you just have to keep an eye on - especially adjustment of the back brakes and the load balancing sensor. Again this depends on how many miles you do.
As for garages, find yourself a local traditional garage who does old fashioned engines and light commercials. Modern garages are all into plug in diagnostics - there are no electronics on these engines. Just keep looking till you find a mechanic, probably in his 50's or 60's who smiles when he sees your engine! having said that, anywhere can do an oil change. I pay about £50 for an oil change and filter.

Dometic fridge won't work on gas?

That is usually down to the thermocouple. Behind the fridge where the burner is there are two little finger like thingies that stick into the flame. One is the igniter - the thing that clicks like a cigarette lighter, and the other is the thermocouple, which is basically a little piece of metal that also sticks into the flame. If the flame is on, it heats up the metal which expands the stuff back along the little tube which is connected to the gas valve. So the gas will only flow if flame is detected. It's a safety feature so you don't think the fridge is on and then get blown to bits the next time you make a cup of tea. BOOM! If the thermocouple doesn't work properly, then the gas is disconnected as soon as you take your finger off the button.
Usually it's down to a combination of dirt build up and corrosion - and age related. Sometimes all you have to do is give the whole burner a good scrape and clean and blow out .... other times you might need to replace the thermocouple itself. It is not an expensive part - a pro guy should take no more than half an hour to fit one, but this does depend on how your fridge is fitted so don't quote me.
If you are a DIY type, I suggest this video, and the bit that shows the thermocouple is at 3mins20secs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBxt2BG7JbE&spfreload=10


How do I get access to the plug hole trap under the Hymer shower tray?

crawl under the van with a torch and look the underside of the van where the shower plug would be. You may see a small access panel, which when unscrewed and taken off exposes the small plastic trap under the plug hole. This has a screw off cover which comes off for cleaning. You will probably find this is full of gunge and hair....yuk! However you have a different model Hymer to me, so I don't know if yours is the same. But it's a Hymer, so there must be access somehow, because all plug holes get blocked sooner or later so they must provide access somehow.

On how much power does the electric fan in Truma gas heaters use?

The fan in most heaters is less than 10w usually about 6 or so. A normal single leisure battery as fitted as standard to most vans, in good condition, will run that fan continuously for at least 100 hours. Of course you will have lighting and other stuff, so half that - still 50 hours non stop. You will probably run out of gas first! Basically the heating fan does not take a lot of battery power, so don't worry.
Most vans have a 100 amp hour leisure battery - this should last at least 3 days of typical use, probably more, and as soon as you drive or hook up - it charges up again. If you spend a lot of time in the van, not hooked up and not driving, and watch a lot of TV and use a laptop a lot, then you might need extra batteries - which is a relatively simple upgrade. I have six big ones under the bed - but then I am a greedy boy!

On how to fix a floppy gear stick on the Mercedes 310D/410D Hymer chassis

Worry not, all you need is a new rubber! I've had this before. If you look carefully, there is a short stubby stck coming out of the gearbox, and the bottom of the gear lever slides over this and tightens with a nut. But what you might not see, because it could have perished and worn away, is that there is a rubber sleeve that goes over the short stubby stick, and the bottom of the gear lever slides over the rubber sleeve neatly, and then is tightened up. This rubber sleeve ensures that the gear changes are nice and smooth.
When this rubber sleeve gets worn out, the gear change becomes sloppy and eventually the gear lever can come off. What often happens is that over the years, owners or mechanics keep tightening the bolt, thinking that will solve the problem, when all that is happening is that the rubber is just getting squeezed to death. Look closely for bits of rubber - sometimes it can get jammed up the bottom of the gear stick.
The solution is to simply order a new rubber sleeve from mercedes, but they can be hard to get! It is possible to fashion a substitute or temporary repair, perhaps using a suitable pice of rubber or plastic pipe, but it is a fiddly job. If you examine the bottom of the gear lever, you will see that there is a split in it, to allow it to be fitted and then tightened. But with repeated tightenings, this split is closed, which means that even if you get a new rubber, it still won't fit. So the stick needs to be fettled by carefully inserting a screwdriver into the slot, and tapping with a hammer to open it back up again. This is best done in a vice in the garage - the metal is too thick for it to be done by hand. If it is an emergency, then you just have to pack it with anything handy - like tape - anything that will just enable you to change gear until you can get to a workshop. Hope this helps.

On how to get water when you can't move the van

I won't ask the obvious question as to why you want an aquaroll ... I assume you want a way of getting water to the van when it's not possible to take the van to a tap. Whether you use an Aquaroll is, as you say, all about where to store it. There is no reason at all why it shouldn't go on the roof - it's light enough. Road dirt will be an issue unless you wrap it well, a top box would be better. My own system is an old 25 liter container, which lives in my top box. I either lug it by hand, or strap it to the back of my motorbike, and 2 trips gives me 50 liters, which I pour directly into the tank (carefully) by pulling the settee off the tank and taking off one of the big round inspection covers in the top of my tank. An alternative of course is to use a funnel and a tube and pour it in to the normal water filler, but then you have to lift the whole 25kilos! I have often thought about getting one of those little shopping bag trolleys for it, but never got round to it.
All Hymer tanks are sited differently, so will be different. I can imagine a 12v pump with a hose to transfer water into the tank from the Aquaroll/container would be quite easy to set up. In the past we have also used the 5 liter supermarket water bottles .... you will be surprised just how quickly you can get a meaningful amount of water into the tank if you run relays and it's good exercise! I would also add that after many years I have found that anything stored on the roof needs a really good reason to go and get it...I always groan when I have to climb up there, especially in the cold or wet. For that reason my 25liter container also can live in the back boot of my 700 - it just snuggles nicely in a corner.

On satnavs

OK girls....uncle Ron here! Us blokes love a good "mine is better than yours" but I also understand that some folks just want a nice simple satnav that works. Messing round with tablets and fancy software is all well and good if that's your thing. I am not a fan of cheap satnavs, but Mike's recco does have a lot going for it. But I am a fan of TomTom, even though others aren't. Their flagship TomTom truck is lovely, but flipping expensive. I have had a TomTom Go720 for over 5 years and it has been all over with me on my travels. When it stopped working in Morocco, I just bought a map for £25 and I was sorted - it was a good map too! So here's how to get the latest TomTom cheap. Go on Ebay and buy a seconhand 720 or 730 (better). Then send it to a bloke I know who will upgrade it to the latest Truck version for £60. Thats what I have done, and also Linda Grant in their 700. If you go this way, I can support you cos it's what I use and I do rate it highly. I do also use my laptop for planning and research and it has to be said that no satnav will always guarantee you a perfect route. No satnav at any price should be trusted all the time, you still need to keep your eyes open and use common sense.
I don't want to start a TomTom v garmin v Chinese argument, they all have their virtues, but I have been very happy with my TT, even more so since it was upgraded.

Fwd: on safety


it's a statistical thing ..... I have done 250,000km all over Europe and Morocco over 10 years with not a single bad experience. But I met people who had. What I did discover is that bad news travels fast and good news not so much. I found people are good everywhere. So just go and trust the universe. If you have a bad experience, then just carry on, the chances are you will not have another one for a very long time.

Fwd: On 12v versus 240v


Look guys - it's quite simple! 12v is fine, especially if you are using your normal car stereo unit and no extra amplifier. But as soon as you want more than what the stereo will give, then you are into fitting a power amplifier. A 12v PA needs heavy 12v wiring, and it needs a well ventilated place to live. I melted my last 12v system in Morocco. I ended up on 240v quite by accident...when I took out the front bed I ended up with the big shelf at the front which many of you have seen in my van. I already had 240v for the TV and I had my old Denon 240v amp in storage, so I just hooked it up for a laugh and was very happy with the result. It was much easier than running heavy 12v wires up to the top shelf, and cooling would have been an issue. So.....it's horses for courses, my system really only works if you have no front bed, which puts me in a minority of one! My final point is that if you do install a decent inverter in your van - for your laptops and hairdryers and toasters etc, then when it comes to music, you have an extra option. It's not just about performance - style and ergonomics also have a place - retro shirt, retro system! I love my chunky 1990's Denon amp with it's big knob on the front. Jon is just jealous because he only has twiddly little knobs next to his ashtray......


On layouts

I started with a 555 but only had it a year - didn't like the drop down bed. I traded it for an S700 with fixed rear bed, and after a few years I also took out the front drop down bed, giving me a much roomier lounge area. This has left me with a very practical and luxurious van for two, and we have done a lot of miles in it. So my recommendation for mature adventurous semi retired couples is the S700 bar version with front bed removed. 
Don't worry about the size, it's only a couple of meters, but that couple of meters is a whole bed! If you intend to spend a lot of time in your van you will soon get annoyed with having to transform your living space to a bedroom, believe me, having a separate rear bed is a must. And there is no better rear bedded Hymer than the 1990's S700, probably the toughest, practical, stylish motorhome you can buy for under £15,000, often less.
But just to be fair - of all the 5 series vans I have been in, I like the 550 layout the best. With rear lounge, mid kitchen/bathroom, and bed over the front, I think that is the most convenient layout in a 5 meter van for a couple.