On old alarm systems in old camper vans.....

The reality about alarms on old vehicles. Many vans have alarms fitted when they are new. It makes sense, and it's often an insurance requirement. At the time they might have been fifty grand vehicles, and if any van is going to get nicked, then the thieves are going to choose a new one - just like cars.
Now wind the clock forward 20 years. That same alarm system, with it's wires and connections and it's radio key fobs has survived 20 summers of use and 20 winters of storage, and basically they start to go wrong, and worse they go temperamental. Corrosion is usually the biggest culprit. And of course they always let you down at the most inconvenient time.
It is almost impossible to get competent maintenance and spares on a 20 year old alarm system. Not impossible, but time consuming and potentially expensive.
So why bother? Just disconnect or bypass the bloody thing and remove it from your life altogether! The reality for most of us classic owners is that a thief won't even look at our vans. 
Now I am not advocating zero security - but it does all depend on your circumstances. If you live in an area where vehicle security is important, then you should replace, rather than try and repair - you will get modern alarm technology and a warranty.
But if you live or store in a relatively safe area, then you can probably do without. And don't forget the good old fashioned hidden immobiliser switch and physical devices like the Crooklock family.
Then of course there are intruder alarms for when you are in the van. If you feel you want these, then there are easily fitted standalone units that fulfill that purpose.
Of course security is a matter for individual owners, but when it comes to a temperamental 20 yr old alarm system, I suggest to bin it or replace it.

refillable gas bottles

Question

About to head off to Europe for 8 months and need to keep warm. We currently have one 6kg red Propane in our B534, 1990. Obviously this won't last long enough so trying to figure out best options - what gas is available there and can it be used with our regulator etc. Advice and facts welcome please! Unfortunately don't have photo of our regulator as currently away from Hans the Hymer.

Reply

By far and away the best solution for long term travellers in Europe is to fit refillable bottles which you then fill up as and when needed with LPG at around 50p a litre - often less. It works out about half the cost of equivalent bottles and with a set of adaptors you can fill up anywhere, and get away forever from the insane situation of having different bottles and connectors in different countries. A simple one bottle solution will cost you less than that, and a more sophisticated twin bottle system a bit more. Have a Google for Gas-it systems - it is possible to DIY if you are confident, or Peter Curry will I am sure offer you a professional job. We are long termers and our refillables are basically essential equipment. When it's really cold we keep our S700 toasty warm 24 hours a day for approx 20 litres a week - about a tenner. LPG stations are all over the place - some countries less common than others, but there are plenty of websites and / or POI's for your GPS that tell you where the stations are, and you just build it into your schedule. We still have our half full 6kg bottle stashed away for emergencies .... but haven't needed it yet!

suspension noises .....

Question - 

We had a crunching noise on our Merc S700 front suspension. Changed the shockers last week but it was there again as we set off this morning after being parked from Thursday. It was at every movement of the van but almost disapeared after a good run from Doncaster to Darlington. As we entered the gate to the CL here, John braked hard a couple of times and it was there on the way up after the initial dip from braking. The springs look fine. We have had this sound for the last 6 months but think it is getting worse. Suggestions.

Reply

 I'm pretty sure I know what this is - you have described it pretty well. At the end of each leafspring, where the spring is formed into a circle for attachment to the body, is a bush - a circular chunk of rubber. The leaf springs attach to the body with brackets. But the springs have to pivot here, so they have a rubber bush with a pin through it, which acts as both a pivot and a shock absorber, allowing the spring to flex quietly and smoothly. I am pretty sure you will find these bushes to be worn out. The rubber wears away and eventually there is no (or very little) rubber between the pin and the bush, so it's metal on metal and that's what causes the crunch and groan - personally I call it "graunching"! The reason I am reasonably sure is that you say it does it on braking or bumps - that's when the springs are flexed - when the nose goes down under braking or gravity. At first you only hear it occasionally, but as the rubber wears away it gets gradually worse, until you notice it!
Mine got so bad a few years ago that I couldn't walk about the van without the springs graunching! When I got it fixed it was like getting in a Rolls - like a new van. It's a garage job unless you are skilled  - probably around £200 if you are lucky - but could be more depending on your garage.
And don't forget to do both front and back spring bushes - thats 8 in all - it's usually the front springs, but it could be the rears too, and it's daft not to replace them all at the same time.
Now of course I could be wrong - I've been caught out several times! But I am sure enough to suggest it. 
If you get underneath and look at each end of the leaf springs, you may well see bits of rubber sticking out - sometimes you even can see how the spring end joint doesn't quite look right. I can post a photo tomorrow if you want. If you see any evidence of this, then we are on the right track.

about Morocco in a Hymer

 I spent 2 6 month winters in Morocco - 2009 and 2011 - in my Hymer S700. 
Basically I had a great time and I consider it safe .... occasionally challenging, but basically safe. 
It is the most moderate of the Muslim countries and the people are as nice(and occasionally bad!) as they are anywhere else. But it's not Europe, and most of the negativity I have encountered from others can be traced to cultural misunderstandings. Things work differently over there, but they do work.
What's really good about Morocco is that it is motorhome paradise! You will see vans everywhere, mainly French. Thousands of French people, usually retired, spend the winter there. So basically there is plenty of infrastructure to support them.
It helps if you speak some French, but as almost everywhere, someone will have a few words of English.
The roads are good and getting better, you can see just about everything you would want on decent roads, and even the dirt roads are OK. 
Arriving at Tangier and the first few days are a bit of an assault on the senses, but you soon get used to it. It pays to remember that you are not pioneering an expedition to Mars....you really are one of several thousand other European vans on the road.
If you want my advice for a first winter, I would give the north a miss and head straight for the sun - the really good winter weather doesn't start until you get to Agadir, a leisurely 2 or 3 days drive down the coast. On the N1 coastal road just north of Agadir you will find plenty of proper campsites full of vans, and this is a great place to talk to others and settle in and get the feel of the place. 
After that you can choose - mountains and desert, or coast and sand. The further south you go the hotter it gets.
I went all the way down to the Western Sahara as far as Dahkla and consider Agadir to Dahkla one of the top road trips it is possible to do in Europe, while still covered by normal insurance.
There are plenty of campsites - ranging from basic to very modern. It is also a wildcampers dream - you can park almost anywhere, and if you are approached, it is usually out of curiosity, or a desire for a small fee - and I mean small. Small fees for services rendered are a part of their culture. 
The cities are very hectic and commercial, especially Marakech, which is the most popular tourist destination for people who fly in. Prices are sky high and attitudes poor. But other cities off the normal trail are great - Fez, Meknes and Agadir, and all the towns are great. The markets are crazy and there are plenty of supermarkets.

Captains Chairs are ISRI truck seats

 If you search ebay for "isri truck seat" or slight variations thereof, you should get hits from second hand seats to brand new ones for over a grand! I believe they were also popular in some taxis.
For those who don't know, ISRI is short for Isringhausen who are one of the major manufacturers of commercial vehicle seats. The majority of what we call "Captains Chairs" in our Classics are Isri truck seats mounted on a swivel plinth.
This basically means that you can tap into the commercial vehicle marketplaces when looking for seat spares and upgrades, as well as the traditional camper markets, and maybe save some money.
The seat is usually secured to the plinth by 4 hex bolts, which when removed allow the seat to come away in a single piece, revealing the plinth and swivel mechanism as manufactured by Hymer, which, those of you who have actually disassembled one will agree, is quite a primitive mechanism and responsible for the resounding and re-assuring "CLUNK!" that you hear when returning the seat to it's forward position. However, it's simplicity means that you can mount just about any commercial truck, taxi or SUV seat on it, from a variety of manufacturers.

Mercedes diplomacy

Allow me to introduce myself as Tech Editor of Classic Hymers, along with our small group of other technical advisers who are named in the Group introduction section at the top of the page.
All Fiat based Hymers are front wheel drive, and all Mercedes are rear wheel drive. Some of the bigger Mercedes, those who's model numbers start with a 6 or 7 also have double back wheels.
It is generally accepted not just in motorhomes but in vehicles in general, that you will get more traction, and therefore get stuck less, with a RWD vehicle than a FWD vehicle. This is a matter of simple physics - there is more weight over the wheels of a RWD vehicle and therefore more traction. This applies to any make, it is just coincidence that in Hymers all Fiats just happen to be FWD and all Mercs are RWD. However it should also be said that this only really applies to slippy surfaces like grass. If you always stay on Tarmac, then for all intents and purposes there is very little difference. 
However, with many campsites and showgrounds being grass, and the UK climate being what it is, it is only a matter of time before most motorhomes encounter wet grass, and then the differences become quite apparent. A FWD van will get stuck more often than a RWD van. Driver skill is also a big factor when it comes to not getting stuck.
When it comes to reliability of Fiat vs Mercedes, this is a hot topic that provokes much discussion and emotion because everybody understandably will be a fan of their own particular choice. It is my job to be impartial, but I think it is fair to say that Mercedes have a better reputation than Fiat, not only in motorhomes, but pretty much right across the motoring industry. Mercedes and BMW and Audi have managed to convince most of the world that theirs are the ones to aspire to. But it is not a black and white question, especially with older vehicles. It is simply wrong to say that all Fiats will break, and Mercs never will. All engines from all major manufacturers are capable of long reliable service - otherwise those manufacturers would have disappeared long ago. The other thing to consider is why are some manufacturers more expensive than others, and why are people willing to pay the premium? However there are also historical factors. Today, Mercedes come in the bottom half of the reliability tables, but back in the 80's and early 90's, their old engines had a justifiable reputation for being the best. They dominated taxi fleets all over the world and whole governments used nothing else for their emergency and military fleets. This reputation was based almost entirely on the qualities of the diesel engines Merc used at the time - in particular the 5 cylinder 3 litre model that is found in all pre 95 merc Hymers, and there is no doubt that this engine has a great reputation - and not only amongst motorhome owners.
With regard to post 95 Merc models, also known as Sprinters - well in a nutshell they are also no different. Technology moves on, and 1995 saw Mercedes introduce a huge raft of new models, prompting Hymer and many other manufacturers to also introduce new ranges based on the new chassis, and Fiat also brought in new chassis.
The other thing that is often not mentioned is that there was a big change in 1997 in driving licence regulations. Prior to 97 if you passed your test, you could drive anything up to 7.5t. After 97 this came down to 3.5t, resulting in a big move in the motorhome industry to build vans that were under this weight, so as to appeal to the maximum number of customers. So this meant that weight became all important, and it is a simple fact that a FWD chassis is quite a few kilos lighter than it's RWD equivalent. Cost also became an issue and the result is that pretty much all the modern vans you see on the road today are under 3.5t and powered by FWD Fiat Ducato chassis. In modern vans, Fiat rule the roost!
So given that you said you want an automatic, and that you often visit showgrounds, if you fancy the retro look of the pre 95 Hymers, then you should look at any auto pre 95 Hymer with a designation that starts with S5xx, S6xx, or S7xx The S denotes Mercedes chassis, the first number denotes the approx length, and the last two numbers the layout. You might also look at post 95 models that feature the newer Sprinter chassis, which I believe feature a semi auto gear box which offers the best of both worlds and are a dream to drive.
Good luck!

Bathroom glass mirror door replaced with plastic mirror

After many miles, years and drinks, eventually you might suffer a broken bathroom cabinet glass mirror door - You can save money and never suffer it again if you replace with 3mm acrylic mirror sheet.

Firstly you have to examine whether the long plastic bits top and bottom that grip the glass are intact and that they have their little nipples intact that locate into the holes in the plastic cabinet body top and bottom. If not you have to order fresh from Brownhills - not cheap! Although if you are a handy DIY'er, because you are replacing glass with plastic it is possible to fabricate your own hinge arrangement using epoxy glue or similar.
Then you do a search on Ebay for "acrylic mirror sheet" and decide if you cut it yourself and make your own hole for the catch, or have the whole thing done by the supplier. I chose the latter cos I was lazy and in the end I only saved about £20 - but the saving wasn't the issue for me - I wanted an unbreakable door because of the miles I do on rough roads - my old one survived 3 falls before finally smashing, and the hinge holes get worn, so plastic was the way to go. the finished item isn't as heavy and doesn't have the satisfying clunk of glass, but you can't tell the difference til you touch it.
Oh and PS.....I dribbled a bit of hot melt glue in the channels before assembly - any glue will do - just holds the whole thing together nicely, but don't get any glue on the mirror!

Squeaky fan belt......

This is one of the top three issues with these otherwise brilliant engines. I also run an S700 (94) and I have just had a new belt 2 months ago, but instead of squealing I get rattling - which is always the tensioner. Luckily for you, the squeal is usually easy to fix - mine's another trip to the garage! Although it seems illogical to spray lubricant onto a belt mechanism that relies on friction for it's operation, that is basically what you must do.
There is some dispute over the best stuff to use, but the top contenders are - and I have tried them all over the last 15 years - WD-40, cheap hairspray, silicone lubricant spray, furniture polish spray, and anything else you may have handy. I am also pretty sure that there is a specific product for squeaky belts, but I have yet to come across it - maybe others will comment.
What I have found is that no matter what I have tried, I have never experienced any detrimental effects - no slippage or other damage.
It is an incredibly annoying situation - it drives you crazy, and as a result I have applied liberal amounts of these sprays in increasing quantities over the years. Eventually it settles down, and most of my 15 years have been squeak free. 
You need to get under the front of the van, and carefully direct the spray on the inside of the belt - it's no use spraying the outside. You need a good 10 second long spray, so it is fully distributed. Try WD-40 or hairspray to begin with. The effect is usually immediate! The big question is how long will it last! Sometimes it lasts for months, sometimes just a few hours.
If you are uneasy about doing it yourself, then just pull into any handy garage and ask them to do it and what they advise - it's a universal problem and most mechanics will have their own trick.
There is a possibility that something might be out of alignment, so ultimately you may have to have the thing professionally checked again, but there is also a very good chance that a good spray will clear up the problem.
In my efforts to silence my rattling tensioner, I have sprayed at least half a can of spray grease - yes grease! - into the general area of the tensioner spring and pulley, and lots of it has dripped onto the belt, but to no ill effect - which just goes to show how resilient the belt system is to the application of lubricants. I am sure others will come in with their own solutions, and perhaps also criticise my advice, but I stress that I have never had a problem no matter what I have applied. I am sure that the belt is designed to withstand oil and diesel spillage and leaks and still function.

Hint - just type "belt dressing spray" in to Ebay and also "squeaky fan belt" into Youtube! Lots of hits!

PRIVACY! PLEASE READ THIS.

I do this for fun! Call me an anorak, but I love these old Hymer vans, and I love helping others solve their problems. Most of the stuff on this blog is my own words. However recently a lot of the interesting stuff has been posted on the Classic Hymers Facebook page - not just by me, but by others as well. Because Facebook is a public website, I considered that comments made there were in the "public domain" and I assumed that the people who posted there would be happy to share the information.

The only reason I created this blog is because once stuff "falls off the bottom" of a Facebook group, it becomes lost - or at least it becomes difficult to find.  It is as much an archive for my own use so I can locate old answers for new questions, as it is a blog for public consumption. I don't publicise it - but it seems that Google searches are bringing in hits.

I am sure that 99.9% of all people will understand this and be OK with it, but if, for any reason, anybody wants something removing - all you have to do is contact me. (Seriously)

Alternativley (not seriously) you can pay your lawyers to issue me with a cease and desist order!

My own lawyers, Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne, will be only to happy to hear from you!

On the subject of Brakes

Ron's Tech Tips number 3.5 billion ...... 

Fun and Games with your Brakes!

A couple of other members have recently posted about brakes, so here are a few pointers about van brakes in general, and Merc brakes in particular.

Fiat and other owners, please chip in with your experiences and comments.

The Merc 310 and 410 (and earlier 309/409) chassis have discs on the front and drums on the rear.
I have had very little problem with fronts. In 15 years in a S700 I have had occasional front pads but otherwise the fronts have been fine.
But the rears are a different story. I have had to have the rears serviced and sometimes replaced, and have spent quite a lot of money over the years. 
The 4 series chassis have double back wheels, so the brakes on these have quite a lot more to do, but the designs are similar on all Mercs of this generation.
It is worth pointing out that on Merc Hymers (and I suppose all vans) the rear brakes are responsible for a much greater percentage of the total braking effort than in other vehicles, so it is important the rears are in good order.
There is also a component mounted on the rear chassis, just in front of the rear axle, with the rear hydraulic pipes going to it. This is called the load balancing sensor. It mechanically senses, via a lever and pivot mechanism, how low the back of the van is, and therefore how heavily laden it is. It increases and decreases the braking force at the back accordingly. It is a service item often ignored by regular garages and as a result becomes responsible for many braking problems. These include "snatching" - where the brake action is too sudden and "fade", where you don't get the braking action you expect! 
So when having brake work done on a Merc you should specify that the LBS is checked, and if you get a blank stare, act accordingly! I have always found that I get better service from truck and light commercial specialists, rather than car garages.
On my recently acquired second S700, my garage man said that the LBS was completely seized, and hadn't been touched for years - a new one was 2 weeks from Germany, but he was good enough to take it off, soak it, and coax it back to life to his satisfaction, so that saved me over £200.
After brake work at the garage, your handbrake should be tight and start working after the first click - this is a sure indication that the brakes have been attended to.
Winter storage is the enemy of all brakes, and Merc rears in particular. For those that may not know - brakes should be off for storage, whees chocked if necessary, linkages should be lubed, and care taken for the first few hours of driving after storage. There is usually a light covering of rust on the discs and drums, which is no problem as long as you take it easy until it wears off.
I have found out the hard way that you only usually find you have a brake problem at the worst possible time! We all tend to drive our vans sedately and carefully, and emergency stops are pretty rare.
Occasionally, usually in hot weather and abroad in the Alps or wherever, you might experience the dreaded "foot to the floor" brown trouser moment. This usually caused by the brake fluid getting hot - sometimes as a result of a fault, like a binding brake cylinder, or sometimes just caused by too much braking and everything just getting too hot - Alpine passes and multiple hairpins are just about the most stressful times for the brakes - and these are old vehicles, not racing cars. So if you are on a really big descent, change your braking technique. Apply the brakes well before the next hairpin, and as you descend compare each braking action with the last. Use engine braking as much as possible. By expecting the worst, you will be prepared if it actually happens. The handbrake will always work well in an emergency, so don't be afraid to grab for it. If it does happen, don't necessarily immediately head for the garage. Let the brakes cool, and keep a close eye on them for the next few days - it could have just been a "one off" under extreme conditions. It has happened to me twice, once in Morocco and once in the Alps - both times the van was fine and needed no work. But of course it's up to you, it could equally be the vans way of telling you that the fluid is twenty years old and it's time for a good service. Don't forget that all vans are designed and tested to cope with the worst roads in Europe, fully laden.
At least once a month, or whenever I think about it, I choose an appropriate moment to test the brakes. Make sure there is nobody behind you, that stuff in the van is well packed, and most important of all that you warn the wife and the dog! Then, as you approach a junction or roundabout on a nice dry, empty road, apply the brakes much harder than you would normally....don't stamp on them as if a child had just run out, but brake hard and progressively. And that's what you should get - hard and progressive. If you feel snatch - which is caused usually by the front brakes coming on before the rear, or vice versa, then you need attention. If it doesn't stop the way you would expect in an emergency, ditto.
The next test is to apply the handbrake only - from about 30 or 40 mph - you should get a strong braking action. If you don't, then get the rears checked.
Finally, on a straight road, with minimum camber, lightly apply the brakes and feel the steering wheel - you are looking for wandering left or right, which indicates uneven braking action at the front. A gently wander to the left is usually OK, due to the natural shape of the road.
Before the health and safety brigade go bonkers.....you are responsible for your own actions! There are plenty of deserted roads you can do this - industrial estates at the weekend for example, or if you are really paranoid....book a track day at a racing circuit. If you do please take a video and post it here!
Although I am a Merc owner, I reckon these comments should apply to all other makes. All makes have their idiot sync crassies ..... so other owners please post your brake comments.

Like   Comment

• Nicholas Barrett, Linda Grant and 9 others like this.
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  Linda Grant CH tech team at its best smile emoticon

  4 hrs · Like · 1
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  Mark Burchell Another great piece of journalistic work there Ron & worth taking note of! As you say brakes are overlooked all to often.

  4 hrs · Like · 1
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  Nicholas Barrett Excellent again Ron. Thanks. To confirm with your post are you suggesting to apply the hand brake while traveling at 30/40 mph?

  4 hrs · Like · 1
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  Ron Bentham Yes indeed - although 30-40 is an arbitrary figure - and I am not suggesting handbrake turns with the back wheels locked! But you need to be going fast enough to prove that your back brakes have a good strong action, so I suggest that 10mph wouldn't really be an effective test. Cautious drivers should perhaps find a garage with a brake tester! The idea is to be able to compare how much the rears are contributing to the overall total.

  4 hrs · Edited · Like · 2
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  Ron Bentham I didn't mention ABS - if fitted. You can go years without hearing the ABS rumble, so it's fair to wonder if it still works! I used to make a point of testing it on a car park in snow in winter..... But I am assured by an engineer that the Bosch ABS system fitted to CH Mercs self tests every time you switch on and is famously reliable, so I don't bother anymore. Occasionally it gives me a nudge on a gravel car park!

  3 hrs · Like · 1
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  Stuart Hamilton Agreed, Any mountain descents treat with respect. Appropriate gear, minimal breaking. I've spent time in Balkans towing trucks and recovering late breakers from precarious positions. There is no rush in the mountains, sit back, trundle along, enjoy the view

  3 hrs · Like · 1
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  Steve Cooper Great Tech tip Ron well written and well presented the only thing i would add is i often get asked why does your brake fluid need changing ? Brake fluid is hydrscopic (it absorbes water out of the air) when your brakes get really hot IE when going down mountain passes in the height of summer like Ron says , The water can boil and you can get brake faid its very unlikely you will experience these conditions in the uk or northern europe but worth considering having your brake fluid changed every couple of years if you tour southern europe or Africa mid summer 
  Hope you dont mind me having some input Ron

  2 hrs · Like · 1
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  Ron Bentham Yes absolutely Steve....I meant to say in the article that many of us don't realise our brake fluid can be over 20 years old!

  2 hrs · Like · 1
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  Steve Cooper Can i ask a question can you down shift IE engine brake in a S class or a B class with a Automatic gearbox ?

  2 hrs · Like
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  Ian Sawkins Good post Ron ..we have a citroen based 534 and the rear are drums which at last weeks MOT were reported as adjusted up to much that MAY cause binding ( mot mans words not mine ) i hadnt felt any binding and thought they worked very well a held the van perfect..after having them loosened off by the chap who works on Henry the were then deemed as abit to loose but " were sufficient" ( mot mans words again...cant win sometimes lol ) but my point is i know our Henry is basically the baby in regards size against all his bigger cousins n brothers..his braking efficency is very good and will stop very effectively if required..up n down hills etc in Wales..Lake district and North Yorkshire hasnt caused us any hairy moments so far..( touching my wooden forelock now ). We do keep the handbrake off at all times when not in use after suffering with seized rear brakes on our old motorhome many years ago. We also change Henrys brake fluid every two years basically for peace of mind..afterall altho a baby of the family he is 3 tonnes and is full of our precious stuff breakable or otherwise .

  2 hrs · Like
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  Mark Burchell You can select 3 manual gears Steve Cooper, sometimes I override the auto going up hills & drop it down into manual it just means you can choose when to kick down manually...hope that made sense.

  2 hrs · Like
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  Ron Bentham Jon Avery is the man to answer that for sure, but as far as I am concerned the answer is yes - every autobox I have ever driven provided engine braking in either position 1 2 or 3 - basically those positions hold the box in that gear.

  2 hrs · Like
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  Gary Garage Johnstone Another good post Ron, Ive had the foot to the floor brown trouser moment in the past and it aint funny especially with a hymer, I've now changed my brake fluid completely and just recently serviced the rear brakes as they were not performing as well as to be expected since the IOM trip and the recent MOT, i've also bleed the old fluid out of the pipes and topped up the resevior accordingly, I can safely say with using dot5 synthetic, the brakes are now 100% efficient. A good piece advice.

Foreign Breakdown .....

Ron Bentham

Yesterday at 12:38

Technical tip number 5234 and a half ......

Foreign Breakdowns

There have been quite a few stories on here recently about breaking down while outside the UK - to most people this is their idea of a nightmare, but it doesn't have to be. The only time it should be horrible is if you are in a hurry to get somewhere and will suffer terribly if you are late - like picking up the mother in law from a Ryanair flight at 3 in the morning. If you absolutely must not be delayed, then take out cover that provides a hire car and hotel, dump the van and carry on.

But for most people a breakdown just means a change to the planned itinerary, and if you approach it in the right way it can be a bearable, if not rewarding experience.

The most important thing is breakdown cover - between 100 and 150 quid a year for European cover - so basically it's daft not to. Mind you, if you are the confident type, and have faith in your van .... with the average recovery costing about £300 or so, statistically you might be better off just paying when things break - you would come out ahead if you break down less than once every two years - the only cost is the cost of recovery - you would have to pay for the repairs anyway. Ask any actuary - if you know one!

But by far the biggest problem is communication - it's bad enough breaking down in the UK, but in a foreign land it adds an extra layer of stress that freaks out most people - unless they speak the lingo of course!

But it needn't be so bad if you just include some preparation in your plans.

There are plenty of websites, usually motoring organisations, who publish translation lists of technical terms - so find one and print it out before you go! Even far flung languages that use non roman alphabets are useful - you can always just point. Arabic for brake cylinder is الفرامل - got that?

How did I know that? Google translate! It really is very good! If you have a laptop, the best thing you can do is to use it .... mobile internet is good, but even without, garages will have wifi you can connect to. Google translate will even read out loud for you in a foreign language - so have a little practice before you go. And mechanics can type into your laptop in their language, and you will see the English.

So with a little prep, communication need not be a nightmare.

The next thing you need to remember is that you should insist on being recovered to a garage that deals with your make - it just makes things easier if you take your Fiat to a Fiat garage, and your Merc to a Merc garage. Recovery drivers are only human - they will have their own network of contacts and kickbacks, so let them know who is in charge! I understand that main dealers charge more, but at least they will have the diagnostic knowledge, and access to the fastest delivery of parts. It might cost a bit more than a generic garage, but in a foreign country, good general purpose cheap garages are hard to find, and as time is usually of the essence, main dealers are probably your best bet. I have used really posh Mercedes dealers - all glass and chrome palaces that scream expensive! ..... in France, Portugal and Germany, and have been pleasantly surprised with the final bill. Generally speaking, prices in most of Europe are cheaper than the UK.

Another problem is where do you sleep if the repair is going to take more than a day. I have always insisted in sleeping in the van, not taking no for an answer, and always I have succeeded. Of course health and safety can be an issue, so you might have to spend some time in the waiting room when your van is up on the ramp, but there is no reason why they can't push your van out onto their car park at night. But every situation is different - so there is no guarantee - just use common sense. Most repairs can be done in a day, so ask to sleep in the van in their yard until all the parts are in and they are ready to go at 8am - then jump in a taxi and go shopping. 

Most good policies include hotel cover, so use this if you feel comfortable, but then you might end up stranded with only the phone to communicate - so factor this in. If you have bikes or a scooter, so much the better, insist on a hotel as close as possible, even if you have to refuse the insurance suggested 3 star that is 20 miles away, and slum it in a local B n B round the corner.

Occasionally things can be a real nightmare - you just don't believe what they are telling you and you have no faith in the garage. Go with your gut feeling - enlist the online help of as many people as you can. It's not impossible to get re-recovered to a different garage. Just be assertive. But don't automatically dismiss all garages as criminals - sometimes the truth is horrible, or sometimes it's just bad communication. Again, the internet is your friend - an hour on Facebook can usually find a friend of a friend who is fluent in the language and willing to come on the phone and fight your corner. Or the other way round - just ask around and you will soon find a local who speaks English - 99% of people everywhere are good samaritans and love to help a stranger.

Above all......DON'T PANIC!

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• Linda Grant, Nicholas Barrett and 16 others like this.
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  Mike Backhouse Good tips Ron.

  Yesterday at 12:44 · Like · 1
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  Stuart Hamilton Great read Ron, one of our own Good Samaritans

  Yesterday at 12:48 · Like · 1
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  Nicholas Barrett Thank you Ron. Great post.

  Yesterday at 12:54 · Like
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  David Olley I might add another thing to this good advice. There are quite a few members of this Hymer Group who live on the continent. Most of them would be very happy to help another member who is in trouble, so one of the first things to do is tell us of your problems. We may be able to help. Perhaps not directly, unless you happen to be fairly close, but indirectly.

  Yesterday at 13:20 · Edited · Like · 2
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  Linda Grant Great tips Ron. The one and only time our van broke down abroad (overheated in Spain) we weren't with it, we had lent it to a friend. The recovery (Safeguard) was fantastic - straight to a garage, friends straight to hotel, no messing. The only fly in ...See More

  Yesterday at 13:26 · Like · 2
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  Ron Bentham That would be interesting to know about Linda ..... I've googled but can find nothing specific. Do you think you could find out more? I am in Ukraine!

  Yesterday at 14:23 · Like
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  Linda Grant The local Mertrux gave me a card with '24 hour breakdown: 0800 800 644' handwritten on it, and said that it can cover any age of Merc, on a pay-per-use basis; they can be called out across Europe, and "Are Mercedes mechanics, who come in Mercedes-liveried vans". I took their word for it. I've just googled, and I guess they are referring to this:http://www2.mercedes-benz.co.uk/.../servi.../service24h.html

  

  Mercedes-Benz UK - Roadside Assistance - Overview

  WWW2.MERCEDES-BENZ.CO.UK